THE ESSENTIALS OF A BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING

Indian weddings have their own charm. Isn’t it ? The band baaja, the gaana bajaana, the khaana khilaana… & so on. November just passed by & its considered a very auspicious occasion for marriages, primarily because of the movements of the moon & the stars. Same goes for February.
Ahh.. humein kya, humein to jaane se matlab hai...

Anyways, what I will share with you all today are the five basic ingredients of the GREAT INDIAN WEDDING. Do let me know if I miss out on some.

So, here goes the list.

1) LETTING THE WHOLE CITY KNOW ITS YOUR DAY :

If its your birthday, you won’t be running around the streets shouting “ITS MY BIRTHDAY ITS MY BIRTHDAY…..” , but if its your wedding…. your family, relatives & friends do that for you, absolutely free.

While the groom is perched on the horse, rest of the crowd, or in simpler terms.. the BARAATEES sing & dance their way to the venue. There’s a band in the background, playing the pepepepeeepeinnn….. & waiting expectantly for  the notes the elders just throw away in happiness.

Quite a joyful experience.. huh??? Well ask that to the cars, the autos, the buses that just got stuck in a jam. Thanks to you.. J They will have some good words for you…

But who cares… this day comes once in a lifetime..(thankfully).

2) THE “OH MY GOD” RELATIVES :

We all are busy, & we don’t really have the time to meet all our relatives. Its just occasions like these that you get some time to catch up with your long lost relatives. Well, the reason this CATCHING UP makes it to my top 5 is the OMG factor. Figure this out…

An aunt who lives in another state, last saw you on some XYZ occasion, 10 years back !!! suddenly sees you now…. & what will be her first reaction ?????? 

Yes you got that right…

"OHH MY GODDD !!! KITNA BADA HO GAYA"

I can’t fathom what gets them so excited. Aren’t we supposed to grow in 10 years.. ??

Thanks to such REUNIONS, the uncle jees & aunty jees can feed your latest personality in their minds. . &  share those “JAB BACHPAN ME DEKHA THA TO…….” stories with everyone !!

3) THE MICHAEL JACKSON MOMENT :

Dance floors are an indispensable ingredient of get to gathers… & marriages certainly can’t be left out of the mix. It’s the DJ who brings alive the child in everyone, & its that moment when each & every person feels like MICHAEL JACKSON, HRITHIK ROSHAN, MADHURI DIKSHIT…..etc.

We create our own dance moves, our own expressions .. in short, we all become choreographers.

As far as I’m concerned, my presence on the dance floor is restricted to being a guest appearance, or an extended cameo at the most !!!

Just imagine what would happen if selections for dance shows were based on how you dance at weddings !!!! J

4) FOOD FOOD :

I’m talking (rather writing) about weddings & how can I miss out on the food. The stalls, the buffets, the dishes…. If DJ makes us dancers, the food makes feel like food critics, just like those in master chef shows.

There’s a famous saying regarding Indian weddings,
“ALL THAT THE GUESTS CARE FOR IS THE FOOD”,
& rightly so.. they don’t cover long distances just to bless the groom & the bride.. J         

And one more thing, while the hosts spend a lot of time figuring out the IDEAL MENU, they hardly get a chance to get a taste of it on D DAY. Trust me, its my personal experience !!
Only after watching the DVD of my sister’s wedding I realised that my favourite dish was also there & I myself couldn’t enjoy it…. (because I was busy welcoming the “michael jacksons” & “masterchef judges”… )

There’s also one  mocktails section…  At a recent function, I tried 4 different mocktails just to figure out what exactly they were. Its another thing that after having them, I still couldn’t understand what they were…. 

NO problems, there are plenty of marriages next season, & therefore many more mocktails to try!!

5) THE Photographers/Videographers :

Photographers are to wedding functions what Invigilators are to examinations.

Inke bina, FEEL HI NAHI AATI !!!

Though its all so good, giving smiling expressions, getting photographs clicked, hoping that one photo makes it to your facebook profile, it gets irritating beyond a limit. Ask the groom & the bride about that, they are the ones who have to pose & smile in 50 different ways to please the shutterbugs.

AND then there are the videographers. Again, from one of my personal experiences.. here’s what happened at the time of vidaayi (farewell of the bride )….

While the ladies were getting all emotional & crying,
the man behind the lens was trying to get the the perfect SMITA PATIL expression.He was indeed the orchestrator & said these words, literally……

“HAAN YE HO GAYA !!!  STOP !! NOW, START CRYING !!!!!”

(To the bride’s mother….)

"AUNTY JEE, IDHAR…. HANJEE IDHAR DEKHIYE…. PERFECT… HAAN AB ROYIE !!"

(to the bride’s sister)

“WAIT !! YE HO GAYA !!! STOP.. . AB AAP DULHAN KO HUG KIJIYE !! PERFECT !! HAAN AB ROYIE !!”

Well atleast he made the emotional moment funny.. I love that photograph of my mom staring at the videographer when he said to her.. “AUNTY JEE IDHAR DEKHIYE !!! HAAN AB ROYIE !!!””

..........

PRICELESS !!!!

Well that is what I intended to share with you all. Next time you go to a wedding, I hope these 5 moments will make your experience memorable. They did, for me atleast…..

Take care all & until next time…

With love & laughs....

PUNEET BAJAJ

That 5 letter word E.X.A.M.S.

Yes it’s been a lonnngg time since we last met. Well, November was a very busy month for me, both personally &  professionally. But it’s December & I’m as free as I would want to be. So, the first thing I did is write something for you all.

Well, many of us had our semester exams recently, while for some they are going to start pretty soon. School students also, must be getting ready for their second term.. well if that term exists anymore…. J

Since it’s the EXAM mode, let me share some of my EXAMS RELATED experiences from my school days.

We were taught by our parents for the first few years of schooling, isn’t it ? Same was the case with me. It was my Mother India who dutifully availed medical leave form her office just to prepare her CHOTA BACHCHA for the paper - shapers… J

Like every other thing, being taught by your mom has its pros & cons. What conned me was her OBSESSION, yes obsession with the English articles.. the, a, is, are, blah blah.. Yeah, it was irritating for me at times. Just figure this out for instance…

We are studying Science, or General Science as it was called then (have no idea what was general in it !!) The question was something related to mosquito bite. So, while I was trying to remember what happens when you get by a mosquito, her focus was on whether it was A MOSQUITO or THE MOSQUITO !!!

Really, what difference did it make ??? It wasn’t that mosquito with an A was well behaved than a mosquito with THE… was it ?

Well, time passes. And after almost 7-8 years, now when she has any problems with her English, it’s me who helps her out. IRONICAL haan ??

My  sister is 7 years older to me, but haven’t felt like that anytime though !!

One memory I have of the time when she was being taught by maa are the TRUE/FALSE questions. At that age, I just couldn’t understand why was she saying 

“TRUE, FALSE, FALSE, TRUE, TRUE, FALSE, PASS !!!”

 It seemed a game then & I too played it sometimes… yaa TRUE, FALSE, TRUE, FALSE.. it was fun & even now. Just that now the examiner wants the reason as well for that true/false & there’s no pass option either.

Finally, after putting in a lot of effort, I convinced my mom that from the VI class onwards, I would study myself.  It was then that I first took upon the challenge of MIGHTY MARATHAS & MUGHALS from my history book .

The kind of MATHEMATICS we study now… makes me cherish those days when the question paper was something like this…

Q.2) SOLVE ANY THREE

a) 78 + 21

b) 43 – 17

c) 12 X 7

d) 40/ 4

e) 123 + 228………   I still remember that part e) was supposed to be tough, because it had 3 digit nos. 

YES, 3 DIGIT NUMBERS were indeed the INTEGRATION questions of those times.

I also had constant fights with my parents regarding going to tuition classes.. While they wanted me to join them, it was a strict “NO” from my side. I had seen some of my friends who went to tuitions & their routine was school in the morning & tuitions in the evening. Where’s the TIME TO PLAY ???

So I asserted that I would study myself & not compromise with the playing time… though the ploy backfired as I was free but my other friends had joined tuitions, so there was no play possible anyways !!! :P  I had to stay home & used to watch cricket on TV, that’s how my love for the game multiplied…

Finally, after giving reasonable performances without tuitions, the TUITION MANIA was back in the Xth standard, you know na, parents really care for that BOARDS EXAMINATION (yes, I was among the last batch of students to appear for Xth boards before they were scrapped).

So, my parents & my sister put this condition before me…

“IF YOU DO WELL IN THE MATHEMATICS UNIT TEST… WE WON’T FORCE YOU TO JOIN TUITIONS ELSE………………”

With pride at stake, I finally managed to score 45 out of 50 & had my wish…

There were some “PARLIAMENT LIKE DEBATES” when it was the time to decide… NON – MEDICAL  or COMMERCE. While my mom wanted me to opt for the former, I opined for the latter... just because my relationship with SCIENCE was not working. I tried to give ourselves chance, but a BREAK UP with science was inevitable.

The expression my mom gave was like that of a mother whose son had refused to marry a girl of her choice !!

That break up with science was the first BREAK UP of my life & consequently, the LINK UP with ACCOUNTS, BUSINESS STUDIES, ECONOMICS etc. was my first as well…. J Way before any girl entered the scene !!!

So from those fun years to the present, 2012… it has been quite an eventful journey.

Pursuing my 2^nd year in B.COM (H), I don’t really know what lies ahead of me, & that is a fun in itself. Sometimes, you plan so much but what has to happen, happens…

I never thought I would make videos for my friends, start a blog one day… but here I’m…

Time to say bye bye to all you lovely people out there… (yes I’m in a good mood )….

Take care, hope you enjoy reading THE ARTISTIC EXPRESSION….

& remember, when  a mosquito bites you, ask him if he is A mosquito or THE MOSQUITO… J

Until next time…… 

With love & laughs

PUNEET BAJAJ J

 

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