DULHE RAJA AA GAYE !!!

This time of the year is pretty much like a bride’s home at the time of her marriage where everyone’s attention is fixated on the dulha, i.e. the New Year and the bride cherishes the memories of her maiden home, i.e. the Present Year, one last time. So, this time the dulhe raja is 2014 and the ladki wala ghar is 2013. 

You all know what 31^st December is all about, there’s nothing more or less I can possibly tell you about it. Every year this day comes, we send New Year messages, go out to party, and make silly resolutions, hoping the New Year would be the answer to all our problems. 

That last line, JISE MAINE BOLD MEIN LIKHA HAI, is the very reason why I feel this day is often exaggerated. After all, it’s just a new date, new month. I’ll come back to it later.  But still, the most relevant question at this time is how was 2013 for you all? Since this is no video chat happening here, I don’t really know your answer to that, infact mujhe to ye bhi nahi pata ke koi ye padh bhi raha hai ya nahi!  Anyways, let me share my experience of 2013 with you all, of course in brief, because I know sabko party karne jaana hai... 

2013 was a very interesting year for me. It taught me some good lessons in some not so good ways.
It gave me a sense of professional success, though that at a very nascent level. 2013 reiterated the fact that I am a reticent person, but when I open up about my feelings, MAIN TO BARASTA HOON!!
I realized the value of some persons in my life (these “some persons” don’t even know how much valuable they are to me). I fell in love, among other things, with some English sitcoms. 

Some personal experiences didn’t go the way I would have ideally wanted, but they brought a sense of clarity. Baaki to wahi... nikal gaya saal bas theek thaak se. 

Now coming back to the point of why I feel today is often exaggerated.... 

I see people making elaborate plans about how they will incorporate some changes in their behaviour, how they will pay more attention to themselves, to the ones around them, so on and so forth. My point is ki My Lord; you don’t need a new a calendar to bring some changes in your life. 

It doesn’t matter if its 31^st December or 31^st May, if you want to do something better, change for the good, then do it right then, that very moment, irrespective of what date it is.
Samajh gaye?? To chalo, I rest my case.

Mann ho to you also tell me how was 2013 for you all, aakhir mujhe bhi to kuch padhne ko mile.... nahi to ek baar happy New year hi bol do.
So here’s wishing a veerrrryyyyyy hhaappppyyy and prossppeerroouusss Dulhe Raja 2014 to all of you. Have a great one.

 

Now go and enjoy :) 

See you next week....

Take care!                                                    

The 20 Moments of My Life...

I will be 21 in a few months and this blog will also be two years old in about the same time. All this while, the idea behind writing this blog has been to share some of my experiences, my thoughts with you all. Be it my cricketing idols, relationships, people, relatives, our very own mind and so forth, you’ve read it all.
So today, as the year draws to a close, I would like to share twenty lessons that life has taught me so far.
No back story, no explanations, no reactions.... just 20 lessons, because sometimes, a few words are enough...

1.  Sometimes, when your feelings don’t change with time, you realize they were honest right from the very beginning.


2.  The things, the events you hate the most at first, later turn out to be the best things that ever happened to you.


3.  Often, people don’t change with time, but it’s your equation with them that does.


4.  Every relationship goes through testing times, it’s the intention of the ones involved in it that determine its fate.


5. Not talking to someone doesn’t always mean that you don’t want to, but maybe, you don’t know how to.


6.  Just because others don’t reciprocate the feelings you have for them doesn’t necessarily make them wrong. Like you, they also have some reasons for their actions. If they matter to you, you’ll try to understand.


7.  If you are happy even when you’re alone, you wouldn’t let anyone get upset in your presence.


8.  The best of things happen in the most unexpected ways.


9. You need bad experiences in life, they make you appreciate the good ones.


10.  Being reserved isn’t synonymous with being arrogant. Just like being an extrovert isn’t the same as being empathetic.


11.  Nothing will take you closer to your dream if the only time you spend with it is when you’re asleep.


12.  Some people will talk behind your back, while some will say things to your face. You need to take both in your stride.


13.  One’s faith in God should be UNCONDITIONAL. You may not realize it, but he knows what you want dearly and makes sure you get it, eventually.


14.  Sometimes, you need a big jolt to tell you that you can do something, that you’re capable of achieving something.


15. You can’t say that you have a good sense of humour if you can’t laugh at yourself.


16.  Moving on is easy. The difficult part is letting go.


17.  At times, its better to come open about your feelings and face the truth, than hiding them inside and enduring for eternity.


18. Don’t view yourself from the eyes of others, you have your own.


19.  YES and NO.... most of the questions in life have an answer way more complicated than these two. 


20. Yes, you will regret some things you did in your past. But if at this very moment, you’re happy, it means you’ve done more good than wrong. 

Wherever I’ve used “you” in the above points, I have been in that position, and I don’t expect you (yes this time I mean you.. the reader :) ) to understand or relate with all of them, because each one of us writes his/her own script. That script is life....

Until next time....

Take care. :)

It's All In Your Head...

Titan, Tianhe-2, Stampede, Sequoia...  

The above are just a few examples of the best super computers in the world. But how are they relevant to this blog today? Well, to a great extent, our minds are pretty much like these super computers only. They process information, analyze it, store it, fret over it and guide your decision making. So, today I thought of sharing my views on those three topics which often undergo processing in that magnificent mind of ours. 

Here they are..


·  HAPPINESS: 

We all know what happiness means. There’s nothing more or less that can be taught to us about it. But still, some of us are happier than others. Why? Because it all comes down to what happiness means to you. If you count your happiness on the basis of the hundreds of friends you have, how happening your life is, how many luxuries you possess, how often your phone beeps, whether or not you’re in a relationship, how much popular you are... you are well on the wrong path my friend.
Happiness, in its basic sense, is a matter of choice. You’re as happy as you choose to be. You don’t need to be happy just because others around you are, rather be happy for the sake of yourself. Program your mind like that. You shouldn’t be dependent on others to stay in a jovial mood. Personally, I sometimes shun my phone and just have a bit of what they call “me” time. I might watch TV, listen to music, write, or whatever... but all by myself. Gradually, whether the phone rang or not, that WhatsApp beep came or not hardly made a difference to me. I was happy by myself, and I honestly believe that if you are happy when alone, you can make others happy as well. 

·   LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS: 

How often I come across status updates about these two things on Facebook! Everyone has their own definition of love, of a relation, of a certain “him/her”. That is exactly how it should be in a way. Neither can you teach others how to fathom these things, nor can you program your mind as to how to deal with them. They gradually come to you, it could be when you are 20 or 25 or even later.
Don’t force yourself in a relationship just because that falaana friend of yours is in one. In the end, it all comes down to the equation between you and that special person. Give that respect and your mind will automatically figure out how these things work. Your heart can even give private tuition to your mind in that regard.   


·  CAREER: 

The simplest career advice I could give anyone is “It’s your life.” You don’t need to be a doctor just because the neighbour’s son is pursuing MBBS. You don’t need to go for engineering just because others tell you “iska bahut scope hai aage.” Go for something which you want to do. Those relatives, friends, peers wouldn’t take the blame if your life doesn’t go the ideal way. So install this thing in your mind: “ITS MY DAMN LIFE!!” Figure out what you want to do with it, what are your expectations from it and how can you get there. Prepare a blueprint.
You must have seen those people who board buses and metro without any idea of their destination and seek others for help. You don’t want to be like that person when it comes to your life, do you? So don’t worry if you need to drop a year just because others will race ahead, in the end its you who has to cover the distance, not them.

All of the stuff written above is pretty much my take on life as I see it. I would love to know your views as well.
So until next Tuesday....

Take care. :)

Kuch To Log Kahenge...

LOG.
A simple three letter word with varied meanings. A log of wood is pretty much common to all stories. Those of you who’ve had a tryst with mathematics and statistics would remember those log tables and allied formulas.
But the log I am talking about is entirely different.
I’m referring to the log used in the phrases as follows:

• Log kya kahenge?
• Log kya sochenge?
• Log dekh rahe hain!!
• “Chaar logon me naam kharaab kar dia!!”

I am especially curious as to who the 4 log in the last sentence are. I’ve heard about them many times and they have indeed played a big role in spoiling our lives at one point of time or the other.

If the already billion plus population in India was not enough, these log further play spoilsport in our not so bad lives. How many times we want to do something, say something but refrain from it just because of these unidentified people surrounding us? 

• Many a times parents force their students to take up a particular course/stream just because the children of certain log in their office are doing it.
  
• There’s a girl in your school or college whom you want to talk to, but don’t because of the log around her.
  
• Wives especially keep telling their husbands about the lives of these unseen people... “logon ke ghar dekho... log ye karte hain, log wo karte hain...”

The examples are endless. That is the reason why I am so eager to find out who these people actually are and want to ask them “yar tum logon ki problem kya hai??”

The reason you came onto this planet, apart from your parents’ wish (obviously) was that God chose you from his factory, to live a life on Earth.
A life which belongs to you and only you.

Do what pleases you, irrespective of how the people will react.
Say what you want to, without paying heed to the murmurs of others. If you keep pestering yourself with the thought of others, you are well on your way to destroy that gift you have, called life. Haven’t you heard the song...
“Kuch to log kahenge. Logon ka kaam hai kehna”?

Remember that scene from 3 IDIOTS where R.Madhawan finally convinces his parents to let him pursue wildlife photography and drop out of engineering? His dad tells him what the neighbouring Sharma Ji will say, what the people will say and Madhawan tells him it’s his life, not Sharma Ji’s.
That’s precisely my point here. 

People were always there, are and will be. They said, say and will continue to say things in future as well, but it’s your choice how much heed you pay to them.

I think I’ve already shared a lot of gyaan. To sum up, I would request you all to contact me if you get hold of those 4 people jinke beech hum apna naam kharaab karte hain. To quote Mr ACP from CID.... "pata lagaao ye log aakhir hai kaun !!"

Before I finish, here’s a line I read somewhere and it made real sense to me...

                  “Agar Log Kya Sochenge Ye Bhi Hum Hi Sochenge....
                                   To Fir Log Kya Sochenge???”

Cheers :)

To The Master...

It’s been over two weeks since the test match at Wankhede stadium got over. The only reason that game meant something was that it was one man’s 200^th, and the last appearance for his country.

That man... a 5'6'' Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. This post is dedicated to the master. I know it’s a bit late, but hey, he was doing his job and I had do mine, that being my semester exams! 
Anyways, as they say, “better late than never.”

I still maintain that he was not my favourite cricketer, that spot was always for Rahul Dravid, but that day, 16^th November’2013 taught me a lot of things. It taught me what one man meant to a billion people, it taught me what emotions are, it taught me what being “humble” actually means, but most importantly, it taught me what greatness means.

Listening to his speech, seeing the moist eyes almost everywhere.... it seemed a bit surreal at first. But why did Tendulkar mean so much to the world and Indians in particular? The answer was pretty easy. Talk to your father and uncles about their cricket memories, and they will mention Gavaskar, Kapil Dev, Shastri, Amarnath etc. Talk to teenagers and they will go gaga over Kohli, Dhawan , Yuvraj and Dhoni. Talk to 20 year olds and they will cherish the fact that they witnessed the Fab 5 of Indian Cricket for almost a decade. But one fact thing that will resonate with all three generations is Sachin Tendulkar.

He was a man of generations, a master with the bat in his hand, just like Sir Don Bradman. But none of us saw Bradman’s last match, but here we had a chance to witness the end of a 24 year old magnificent journey. It couldn’t be missed. That's why he was special, the occasion was special. 

The world will remember him for the thousands of runs he scored, the hundred 100s he got, the innings he played, but I will remember him for some different reasons.

He thanked everyone in his speech, right from the relatives with whom he stayed for a while as a kid to his manger to the photographers.
This showed how much he VALUED the ones in his life.
This is what I will remember him for.

He bowed down and touched the pitch at the end of the game in respect. That showed his HUMBLENESS, the fact that he knew he was never bigger than those 22 yards, and that this very piece of land made him what he is.
This is what I will remember him for.

But most importantly, he taught me what GREATNESS means. It’s not about the success you get, not about the fame and money, not about the numbers, but it’s about your dedication to your work. 24 years is not a short time by any means. Just for example, my sister was 3 years old when Sachin started playing. She grew up, completed her education, got her degree, earned a good job and is married now, but that man was still playing!

We get bored after a week or so in school, a month in college and at times get fed up with our job. But that man stood committed to his “job” for over two decades. That’s what made him great in my eyes. The fact that he loved, respected and felt honoured doing what he did and gave in his best every single time. That’s what you inspire me to achieve Mr. Tendulkar, you have inspired me to achieve greatness.

The defining moment was not the last West Indies wicket that fell, it was when on a sports show the next day, he was referred to as “FORMER” India cricketer. Though my record of not crying since 7^th standard is still intact, his retirement filled me with some novel emotions.
I didn't feel like this when I saw Dravid’s retirement press conference, but may be that’s because it was a mere conference, none of us knew on 28^th January’2012 that we had already seen the last of Rahul Dravid for India. Had such a thing happened that time, I’m pretty sure my “no tears” record would have been in danger.

To some up, I would recall my mother’s lines when India were struggling against Pakistan in the ASIA CUP match in 2004-05, 
“Abhi Tendulkar Hai Ki Gaya?”


Finally, after 24 years, Tendulkar gaya....

.

.

.


Thank you Master!!

Missing Someone...

At times I get the feeling that I over think things. It’s a sheer waste that all the milk and Bournvita I have had over the years get used up in fretting over pretty trivial matters.

 But hey, that’s life, or so it seems at least. So, during one such moment of reflection on life (it does sound nice, doesn’t it?), the thought that amazed me was how the most expressive three words started with “I” and ended with “YOU”. Put any word between them and you get a plethora of emotions- love, hate, like, envy, adore, respect and so on.

One such word that fills the gap is miss.... I MISS YOU. Prima facie, the words “I miss you” have a certain melancholy connotation to them, a sad expression, a feeling of separation. Usually we use this word for someone who is away from us, someone whom we want close to us, but can’t. But at times, two persons have to part ways, despite not wanting to, and carry on with their lives, knowing that may be, it’s in the best interest of both of them. How do you justify the words i miss you in such a situation? Is it still okay to feel so? I think it is.

When I ponder over this thought, I get the impression that the reason you miss someone is because you had something pleasant in the past to associate with them, which you know might not happen again soon, in fact in some cases, never again. It does sound painful.

Some might say painful is a strong word to use, pain is what a kid feels when he injures himself while playing, pain is something one feels when they get bruised, pain is what you feel when you have a horrible accident, pain is what you feel when you lose someone close.

Is it then okay to use the same word for what you feel upon missing someone?
At some level deep down, I think it is.

But like everything in life, missing someone also has a silver lining to it. The only reason you feel the absence of someone from your life is that they held an important place in your life when they were close, that you had some memories with them worth cherishing, that despite all wrong that happened in your life, it felt good because of them being in it.
Honestly, the reason you miss someone is because you had someone worth missing in your life.
When you think about it that way, it doesn’t sound too grim? Does it?
I’ll leave that to you to decide.

It may not necessarily be your fault, or theirs'... but still, maybe you both need to understand that and live that thing they call "life".
These lyrics from a song aptly describe how separation may be inevitable, despite no one's fault...

"Maine Nahin Jaana... Tune Nahin Jaana...                                         Jaane Anjaane Jo Hua... 

Kuch To Hua Jo... Mujhko Hua Na...                                                         Tujhko Magar Kyu Hua.... 

Galti Nahin Hai Teri... Galti Nahin Hai Meri...                                             Fir Bhi Gile Kyu Hain..."

Cheers.

For the love of blue... ROYAL BLUE

In a way, this is supposed to be my comeback post, haven’t really written something for quite a while. So, what brings me here? It’s the same thing that inspired me to write in the first place two years ago... the respect, the love for a man called Rahul Dravid. 

The Champions League 2013 ended yesterday, and along with it, brought the curtains on his illustrious career. I will get to that, but let me first talk about those 12-15 guys who wore the royal blue jersey and taught us, taught me, what a team really means. Being a Dravid fan, my mood on match days was pretty much determined by his performance while he was playing for India. His lean patch in 2008 made me throw my books away, his stupendous performance in England in 2011 made me ecstatic. 

But during the course of this Champions League, it was pretty evident that he wouldn’t churn out runs from his bat the way he did for nearly 2 decades, time away from the game did take it's toll on his performance. But this time, it wasn’t his failure as a batsman that bothered me, but the success of the team as a whole that cheered me. That is a feeling Rajasthan Royals have taught me. Stars making a team is understandable, but when each every member of the team gives in his best to make the team a star, that’s something remarkable.

Ajinkya Rahane played in a manner we were used to see Dravid in, laying the foundation, anchoring the innings and letting his bat do the talking. Scoring four fifties in a row is a testament to that. But we don’t need you to be the next Rahul Dravid; we want you to be the first Ajinkya Rahane.

Sanju Samson, I first saw a glimpse of you when chasing 172 against RCB in the IPL, you came in to bat at no.3. The move perplexed me, but your performance that day amazed me. As the tournament advanced, you showed that at a young age of 18, you had the maturity of a pro. I remember during the playoff v/s MI at Eden Gardens, you played a rash shot off Malinga, and got out second ball for a duck, “Big match nervousness” was how a commentator described that shot. Months later, against the same opposition, at Ferozeshah Kotla, in the CLT20 final, you produced a scintillating performance, getting to your 50 off just 24 balls, smashing Harbhajan’s first ball for six! 

“Big match player” was how you were described this time by the commentator. You surely have a long way to go, but I know you will come out shining.

Pravin Tambe, it wouldn’t be wrong to call you the success story of this tournament. Your performance is an example, a message for everyone out there, that hardwork always pays. Plying your trade for years in the Mumbai club cricket circuit, not playing a single first class match to being the golden ball winner of the tournament that invites the best from round the world, you surely have come a long way. Where this success takes you is still to be seen, but you surely have become an inspiration, from 14 year olds to even 50 year olds.

Kevon Cooper, James Faulkner, Shane Watson, Stuart Binny, Brad Hodge, Ashok Menaria, Rahul Shukla, Dishant Yagnik, Vikramjeet Malik..... you all are the stars of team and it’s because of all of you that RR is a star. It must have been testing times after the spot fixing scandal, but as Dravid put it, the manner in which you guys came back together was just remarkable.

And it was because of your performance that I learned a few new words as well... fortress and impregnable to name a few!

Now coming back to the captain, I always felt that your performance over the years was overshadowed and perhaps you didn’t get what you deserved. Early exit from the World Cup in 07, stepping down from captaincy and soon after being ignored for the ODI squad, a disappointing IPL in 2008, not a befitting end to your test match career...... all these things will, infact have saddened Dravid fans. Me too.

A CLT20 trophy would have been an ointment for that disillusionment. But again, expecting these things would be like wishing a fairytale journey for you, something like in Tendulkar’s case, but what all this taught me is that maybe, you were not meant for a fairytale, rather, God left it to you to write your own story....

• Every time India was in trouble, you raised your hand, be it wicket keeping in 2003 or opening the batting in test matches...
  


• After a successful tour of England in 2007, you stepped down from captaincy....
  


• After being ousted from the ODI side, you continued to fight it out in the longer format...
  


• “T20 is not for you” you were told, but after 6 years of the flash bang cricket, you’ve proved everyone wrong...
  


• After a brilliant performance in England in 2011, you were recalled to the ODI side, because they needed you, and you went out with a masterful half century in your last match. Before that you were recalled for the Champions Trophy in 2009, again, because you were needed...
  


• You motivated a team of nobodies to believe in themselves and punch above their weight...
  


• After the spot fixing scandal, you played the pivot and made sure RR stayed as a unit and during the course, made unknown players stars...
  
• Being a test romantic, your last appearance was in a T20 final, leading a side not many would have fancied in the first place...  

      Not many could have done this... and maybe that’s why God chose you for this. 

That is a far bigger achievement than having a fairytale finish.

Cheer up guys, so what if RR didn’t win the title, you did a lot more than that. 
For me atleast...

                               

   " Thank you Rajasthan Royals... Proud to be your fan... "

BAD OR NO SIGNAL !!

Often, while watching T.V., I get irritated when the above message appears on the screen...

“BAD OR NO SIGNAL. CONTACT YOUR CABLE OPERATOR.” 
Many a times, I just let it go, because I know it will be fine after a while.

At times, though, I have to call the dear operator and ask him,
“Bhayia.. kya hogaya, Network kyu nahi hai??”

The poor bhayia then explains his predicament and says,
“Wiring me thodi problem hai. Abhi theek ho jaayega !!”

Well, now that I think about it, there’s not much difference between television and ourselves.We love to just sit in front of the so called “idiot box”, don’t know if the TV also likes to see our face every time we turn it on !!

Anyways, the point is, we humans also sometimes are not in the best of moods.
That’s when we have bad or no signal. 
I’m sure you all must have been through those situations where for some reason not known to you, the other person appears pretty upset or just doesn't want to talk to you. 
So this post is dedicated to those dear creatures.
What to do when your friend is going through the signal problem ?


Well, the strategy I employ most of the times is the same I do with my TV, just stop pestering that person, hoping ki apne aap theek ho jaayega / jaayegi. 
But let me tell you, “theek ho jaayega” is ok but “theek ho jaayegi” takes pretty long time !!

But when leaving the situation as is not possible, you have to TALK !!
It doesn’t mean that you call that person’s mom and ask her,
“kya hua aunty !! aakpe beti ka signal kyu kharaab hai ??” These are some lines you have to reserve for the cable operator.

Try talking to the person, understand his/her problem, emphatize if needed, be honest at times and please for heaven’s sake, don’t lose your cool.
The next thing you know is you both are without signals.

Just try cheering your friend up,and after they are happy again, ask them to at least buy you an ice cream. Itna to kar hi sakte hain !!! 

Also, if you have been reading this with utmost concentration and sincerity (thanks by the way :)), let me tell you that cheering up every person around you is not your business. So don’t scan through the fellow passengers in a bus or metro, trying to scout your bad signal wala shikaar.

All said and done, I know there are times when situations are pretty serious and you really don’t know what to do. Some of you might think that what do I know? I just type whatever comes to my mind, without knowing the exact situation. To all those you feel like this, you’re absolutely right.

I don’t know what the persons around me must be going through. It can be a fight with a friend, argument with your lover or even a spat with your parents. But even at those times, just try to stay cool and you will realize that may be, the situation is not as worse as you are meaning it to be, and after all, the signal is not totally gone.

As for me, when I will find myself in such a situation, I will try reading this article again, hoping that after all, it’s not that bad, just a temporary problem. Although there's every possibility that I may end up saying...
"kya bakwaas likhi hai ye maine !!" :) But it's worth a try.


Well as I finish this article, my TV has switched to “BAD OR NO SIGNAL”....
Kya kehte ho? Apne aap theek ho jaayega ya lagaau phone ??

With love and laughs

Puneet Bajaj :)

THE THINKING LAUGHTER

THINKING, yes it’s a tough thing to do. Just like an employee is paid for working, but he doesn’t always like working, same way, our brain has been made to think but it doesn’t always like thinking.

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about how our brain works, I have far better things to write about & I’m sure you too must have better things to read about.

Anyways, jab hum (I’m giving myself respect by using “hum” instead of “main” :P) zyada sochte hain, to hum LAUGHTER ko invent karte hain.

There are things I watch on TV, some I read about & some I hear from my surroundings which really tickle my funny bone.

I’ve just written around 100 words & I’ve already ventured into the fields of NeuroScience & Orthopadics, see how talented am I... maybe that's why my mom always said..

“SCIENCE LELE SCIENCE” J 

Okay, enough of SELF TAAREEF, here are some of the things which really made me think.... and then laugh. If you watch TV, and have a fair a idea about how INDIANS are... you will like it. (SEE  EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, ITS NOT MY FAULT, TUM TV HI NAHI DEKHTE MATLAB !!)

     

>>>  THE BOURNVITA AD

Here is this ad which shows, rather OVERSHOWS (don’t know if that’s a word ) how much that DHA matters. Also, the mom thinks if she gives her son Bournvita to drink, he will make her proud & blah blah... She says “KYUNKI JAB MERA BETA MUJHE HARAAEGA, TAB MAI JEETUNGI”

All these years, I don’t even recall one single day when my mom or dad came up with such motivating dialogues along with a cup of Bournvita. Most of the times, they said....

“ KAB  TAK SOTA RAHEGA ?? UTH JAA... ITNI DER SE DOODH RAKHA HUA HAI, THANDA HO JAAEGA”

Ab bataao, isme DHA wai baat kahaan aayi ??

 >>> THE KENT RO AD

You drink water from an expensive water purifier, while I drink from, say an earthen pot, and the world still seems alright. But that kent ad tries to instill guilt in you, if you don’t drink from KENT.

Matlab its a crime if we don’t have Kent !! And that expression Hema Jee gives.. you wonder if its purified water or something else.

Its like they want to say

Drink KENT water

Make tea using KENT water

Wash clothes using KENT water

Bathe using KENT water

& worse, the have half the DEOL family in it. Woh kehte  hain  naa...

KENT KA PAANI NAHI PEEYA TO KYA KHAAK PAANI PEEYA !!!

>>> THOKO BAND

If you have seen even one of the Extraa Innings show of the IPL, you know what I’m talking about. I mean that poor Joshua, har 2 second me THOKO BAND.. THOKO BAND.. THOKO BAND !!

I wonder in his home, his mother would say “BETA AAJ MAINE TERI FAVOURITE DISH BANAAYI HAI.. THOKO BAND !!” 

>>> THE ROMANTIC TAGLINE

The other day, while I was in the metro, happily coming back after giving my last exam, there was this young college going couple sitting besides me. How do I know if they were a couple ?? 2 saal se bus aur metro me ghum rah u, thoda idea to lag hi jaata hai J

Anyways, the boy said to the girl...

“ I’M WITH YOU, FOR YOU... ALWAYS......”

For a moment, I thought he was going to say “DELHI POLICE” next.

I somehow kept my self from LOLing out literally !!

>>> THE PROFESSION MOMENT

Once there was a burglary in a house in our building, & the thieves were caught as well.

 Many people had gathered around just like TV reporters. Then this one bholi bhaali aunty came besides me & asked me...

AUNTY : KYA HUA BETA ??

ME: CHOR AAYE THE GHAR ME..

AUNTY: CHORI KAR RAHE THE ???

I just walked away, couldn’t bear that SO INTELLIGENT QUESTION from her.

May be, she too, didn’t have DHA wala Bournvita while growing up !!

** STATUTORY WARNING**

If you didn’t like this post, NOT MY FAULT !!

If you felt this was insulting, NOT MY FAULT !!

If you felt this was good, SAARA CREDIT MUJHE JAATA HAI !!! J

Until next time we meet, take care & don’t be afraid of THINKING !!

With love & laughs

Puneet Bajaj :)

KYUNKI HOST BHI KABHI GUEST THA….

Happy New Year readers. I know it’s a bit late but since this is my first post of 2013, I had to say it anyways. Well, since sequels are quite popular nowadays, I thought I would write one as well. Remember that post when I talked about the pros & cons of having guests visit us? Well, after I wrote that, I haven’t had many guests come to our house…. J LAGTA HAI FEEL KAR GAYE !! 

Anyways, last week, we had to go to some function, & it was during the way back that I thought about writing how it feels when you are the guest… you know just like... “SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI” in the same way,  “HOST BHI KABHI GUEST THA”.

So here we  go…

KAUN KAUN JAAYEGA !!

When someone invites us over as guests, the first crucial point is…...
"YE HAI KAUN ?"
If it’s a relative from dad’s side, then its obligatory for him to go & if its from the maternal side, mum will have to pack her bags. The kids usually don’t have a say in this as they come as free assortments with the adult.
At times, if your family happens to be one of the typical nuclear families, what happens is both the parents take a kid with them, just like children pick teams before playing a match.

But  as kids grow older & become MATURE (15 is the new maturity age nowadays : )), they come up with their own excuses. So, many a times, that class test you had never really cared about earlier suddenly  becomes so important when your parents tell you that you have to accompany them to visit some relative(s).            

And who’s that relative ??? well don’t you dare ask. I tried some times asking this question & all I could gather was that “ITS MY FATHER’S UNCLE’S NEPHEW’S SISTER’S HUSBAND’S DAUGHTER’S ELDEST SON’S WEDDING that we have to go to.”

Yeah, don’t try learning that.

BAS PAHUNCH GAYE !!

Chalo, everything’s decided. Your excuses failed to please your parents & puri family nikal padi apne rishtedaaro pe keher dhaane. Needless to say, we are never on time. If we are supposed to reach at 10.00 a.m., we depart from our home at 10.30. Then on our way, dad’s cell rings… “HELLO, KAHAAN PAHUNCHE ?? HUM AAPKI WAIT KAR RAHE HAIN” & you see your dad handling these bouncers pretty well.

Here’s the rule of thumb you have to follow when the one seeking your benign presence calls you on the way…

Whatever the other person says, you just keep on repeating.. “BAS JEE, PAHUNCH HI GAYE BAS”,

“RAASTE ME HAIN”, & if it doesn’t work, blame the TRAFFIC, even if the road is empty.

STUCK IN TRAFFIC is the universally accepted excuse for being late, recognized by WLLA (WORLD LATE LATEEF ASSOCIATION).

Also, never really tell them where you are (unless you are not aware of the venue, location, house whatever,,). Always describe time in minutes. Just forget what your teacher taught you in school, the units of measurement.. blah blah blah… In reality, you have to mix time & distance to hide your speed. Just say. “20 minute ka raasta hai....."  "Ajji aadhe ghante me aa gye…”

BETA NAMSTEY BOLO !!

Finally, you reached the venue. Assuming that it’s a sort of re-union of all the relatives (of whom you don’t even know 20 %), the next challenge on hand is greeting everyone. You follow your parents, see whom they greet & you automatically say “NAMSTEY UNCLE/AUNTY JEE, KAISE HAIN ?” Sometimes, you end up greeting strangers also.. but who cares.

And again, if you don’t know who someone is, don’t ask your parents.. why ?? aren’t you paying attention ??  I just said that you are at your FATHER’S UNCLE’S NEPHEW’S SISTER’S HUSBAND’S DAUGHTER’S ELDEST SON’S WEDDING… you really want to add a string to that ?
HUM YAHAAN CHAIN CHAIN NAHI KHEL RAHE !!!.

Bas fir kya, khaao piyo aish karo. Let your parents meet everyone & just step aside after NAMSTEYing 3- 4 people, okay 5 at most. If its not your day, even when you are standing in the most remote corner of the function, someone will come up to you & ask.. “AAP KISKE BETE/BETI HO ?”

IJAAZAT DIJIYE !!

Now, everything's sorted. Its time for bye bye. Remember that moment when your guests who visited you said “AB HUM CHALENGE”…. Its your turn to say that now. & again, if you are lucky enough, your aunt will come & give you that cash (which again, you have to refuse at first, jab wo teesri baar INSIST kre, tabhi  lena hai.. rule hai WLLA ka!!)

At times, when I get these CASH REWARDS, it feels like it’s the TRAVEL ALLOWANCE  we are getting. But again, mujhe kya.

                                                *** STATUTORY WARNING ***

Just take the cash & keep it in your pocket, bachpan wali galti mat karna ki mummy ko de dia ye soch kar ke ghar jaake le lenge. Mummy nahi deti waapas !!

Isi wajah se mere Rs. 2000 atke hue hai mummy ke paas abhi tak… )

Finally you reach your home, after exhausting your holiday & just throw yourself on the bed.

Suddenly, mom asks “BETA, WO APNE TEST KE LIYE TO PADH LE”.. &
you are like   “KAUNSA TEST  ???”

Remember that test you were trying to use as an excuse for not going ?? yep, that’s what she’s talking about…

Well that's it.. mera ho gya, ab aap log mujhe ijaazat dijiye...

Until next time...

                                                                                                              With love & laughs

                                                                                                                       
Puneet Bajaj   :)