Doing the RIGHT thing at the WRONG time...

Anger. 

Fury. 

Annoyance. 

Rage. 

Irritation. 

Gussa. 

All the above words mean the same and we all are familiar with them. You know there are times when we forget that a human being was the most sophisticated creation of God, and tend to think irrationally, get a tad too emotional at times, take things at heart, say things we later might have to regret... all because of a sudden torrent of anger. 

When I was young, I mean vaise to I’m still very young, but I’m talking about the bachpan time, I used to have a really short temper. I was pretty much like perfume, HIGHLY FLAMMABLE. You would never know what thing or word might annoy me and cause me to break all the bandhans of sanity. My family members have been a witness to that. Once, I just refused to have dinner because my mom jokingly talked about admitting me into a government school! I’ve had fights over the pettiest of issues with my friends. Once, I remember, while playing cricket in the ground, my friend who was batting, accidentally hit my watch with the bat (zyada visualize mat karo, wo shot maar raha tha and mai uska runner tha !!), the watch cracked. I reached my boiling point within seconds, stormed out of the park, and later went to his house to yell at his mom and demand COMPENSATION FOR MY LOSS!! Kya din the wo!! 

But then as they say, main bada hua and got some sense of maturity. I gradually began to stay quiet at such times which would anger me, just to make sure that I didn’t do or say anything which I might have to regret later on. I kept the things to myself, and got normal after a few minutes, hours or days. In hindsight, this “keep the things to yourself” wali line ko maine zyaada dil se laga liya, and became a sort of reserved, reticent person. Chances are if you don’t know me and we meet somewhere, I won’t be really coming up to you to strike a conversation or ask “How You Doing?”, but if you do get to know me, I am pretty sure I can guarantee you a friend for life. (Haan, maine thodi self taareef ki!!) 

Sometime back, I didn’t have the most pleasant of conversations with a friend, and if I was still the person I was 7-8 years ago, I am pretty sure I would have made things worse and wouldn’t be writing this here now. I realized it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and chose to stay quiet, rather than lashing out at her. In fact I decided not to talk to her for a while, not because I was upset with her, but just to get that clarity in my mind and make sure there were no ill feelings for her.
The need to get that clarity stemmed from the recognition of the fact that she wasn't to be blamed for her actions. I did get that clarity eventually. At present, the equation between us may not be the best like it was earlier, but it could have been a lot worse. And again, mai khud ki tareef karunga aur kahunga ki I’m proud of the way I dealt with the situation, not just that time but on several other instances. 

To the contrary, now I'm the one who calms down my mother when she gets unreasonably angry over something... that’s thodi bahut maturity I’ve mustered over the years. To anyone reading this who feels he/she also have a short temper, just remember..... 

                    “How you deal with a tense situation depends on one thing.....

                 What matters more to you.... the ARGUMENT, or the PERSON?


Until next time,
Take Care.