WHAT IF...

They say the only thing constant in life is change. Look around you and you’ll realize how the things have transformed – be it the mobile phone you use, the technology you have at your disposal, the infrastructure, the way people interact, the places where you hangout, the various professions one can choose from and so on. In today’s post I will talk about one such change, or rather upgrade – that in people. And when I say upgrade, I don’t mean any philosophical and anthropological take on the humans. Neither is this blog that intellectual nor am I that intelligent in the first place. The change – upgrade I’m talking about is on the lines of mobile software updates that we get. 

We all deal with different kinds of people and they all play different roles in our lives – family, friends, partners, relatives, acquaintances, mentors, neighbours and the shakal to jaani pehchaani hai types. We all associate certain idioscyncrasies with people’s attitudes – that person is a hot head, she is so cool, my dad is so supportive, my friend is so stingy, her mom is so modern and so on. 

Now, what if all these opinions could be broken down to each person’s operating system version? You would know in advance what all to expect and lines like “you let me down” could well become obsolete, because, well you knew who, rather what you were dealing with. Now given the super busy schedule that I have on my plate, I decided to think of how our conversations would be shaped. And for easy relatability, I am referring to Android OS in the following examples. 

Read on to see if you see my point (if not, you better upgrade): 

CAREER DISCUSSIONS 

Dude, it’s great that your parents are supporting you to try your hand at acting. That’s the benefit of having Jelly Bean parents. I on the other hand had to become a doctor, couldn’t oppose the Gingerbread thinking of my parents! 

THE FIRST FEW YEARS OF EVERY CHILD 

Arrey, look how big he has become. Last time I saw you, you were, what, a Cupcake 1.5. Ab dekho, Froyo 2.2.3 ban gaya hai! 

CRUSHES 

Bro, come on, I know you like Aisha. Who wouldn’t? She is cute, smart, intelligent plus she is a Kitkat! 

No bro, she isn’t my type. I would want a girl who has that Ice Cream Sandwich look about her, I just dig that.

AT SCHOOL

Teacher: Where is Raj? He is supposed to give a presentation today.

Raj’s friend: Mam wo aaj nahi aaya. Uska update nikla hai aaj.

POLITICAL RALLIES

(Imagine Narendra Modi taking a dig at Rahul Gandhi:)

Bhayio behno, jiski khud ki party usse Beta (1.1) se Honeycomb (3.0) tak update nahi hone deti, wo khud kya khaak Bharat ko Lollipop (5.1.1) tak leke jaayega???

MOVIE PROMOTIONS

This film is about two happy going Gingerbreads who love each other and a Kitkat who tries to ruin their relationship for his own good.

Aamir Khan: Yeah, I had to do a lot of research. I had to learn the intricacies of a Kitkat, because you see, I’m a ICS at heart!

LOVE PROPOSALS

He: Sweetheart, I know that being a Donut 1.6, I’m no match for your Froyo 2.2.1 life. But I promise, I will work hard and not rest until I get a suitable update of Jelly Bean so that I can provide you with all the comforts you desire. Will you marry me?

She: Dhatt re pagle, rulaayega kya. I would have said YES even if you were a Cupcake 1.5. My love for you is not OS-condtinional.   

REQUESTS

Child: Mom, please convince dad to allow me to go on the outstation trip. All my friends are going.

Mom: Shut Up, he is already so angry with the fact that his much awaited Kitkat update hasn’t come out yet and you want me to bring this topic to his interface? He will hang!

So, you get my point. I hope you did. These two words “What If” have a lot of plausible scenarios, today I shared with you the one of humans based on OS. 

What next? Wait for it...

P.S. In case this blog doesn’t match your interests, check your OS compatibility with mine!! I’m anyways free!!

Until next time

Take Care  :)