Why can it be agonizing to be supporter of a sports team...

A person walked out to the Eden Gardens in 1996 to cheer for his team in the World Cup semi final. He threw bottles and didn’t allow the game to complete. He was a fan. An angry fan. 

In 2007, in Ranchi, a person went to the shop to watch on TV, India take on Bangladesh during the World Cup in West Indies. When he returned, he threw stones at M.S. Dhoni’s house. He was a fan. An upset fan. 

In 2011, a person roamed the streets of Mumbai at midnight after India won the World Cup.
“Chak De” he shouted. He was a fan. A delighted fan. 

That’s the thing with being a fan – it often comes with an adjective. And that’s the problem, it shouldn’t. I wrote this post last week but waited before deciding to share it. The reason has been explained later in this post. 

The months of April and May are when each Indian has his/her allegiances figured out as to which team to cheer for during the IPL. For me, the support is with the men in royal blue, the Rajasthan Royals. And there’s only one reason behind that – that man sitting with a serious expression all through, who was conspicuous for throwing his cap last season (second time in his career when he actually took his anger out on something tangible) – Rahul Dravid. Obviously, by that logic, I supported RCB during the first three years of the league. 

These 8 years of IPL have been a master class in “The Essentials of Being A Supporter” for me. While I pride myself of upholding the standards of loyal support, there are times when it becomes agonizing for me as well. Surprisingly, contrary to popular perceptions, it’s not when the team loses as most would expect, but when they aren’t doing as well as they can and all I can do is sit in front of the TV set and watch in anticipation that agonizes me. 

When you yourself play the sport you follow, you’re naturally more empathetic of a team’s performance, or individual’s performance for that matter than those self proclaimed cricket experts who would have sacked Sachin Tendulkar in 2010 for poor form, who abuse a batsman for not being able to hit six of every alternate ball. So when there is a run out, you don’t abuse the batsmen, because you know such misunderstandings happen while you’re playing. When a bowler is having a bad day, you understand because there are days when things don’t go your way. And so, when I see Rajasthan lose a match from a 60-40 position because they lost three wickets in quick succession, you understand that because such things happen in cricket and I myself have experienced such things while playing. 

I have been playing cricket for over 12 years now (at no professional level), but these years have taught me a lot about the game and that has helped me be a rational supporter, a consistent fan of the sport because I can relate my own experiences to those happening on the field on TV and I know what all can happen and how it feels for those involved. In a way, that is why it is sometimes agonizing to be a cricket team's fan- because you can watch, understand and relate to the scenes, but nothing beyond that. When RR lost their momentum after a rollicking start, I so wanted to be, quite honestly, a part of their team, because when you are in the mix, you know each player is giving his best, what concerns some players and you know you are putting your best foot forward. 

But here I am, watching the pre match shows, expert opinions, reading reports and articles and then tuning in for the match to try and be that extra player for the team, but honestly, you can’t do that. Sharing facebook posts, tweeting your support, that’s not what I am talking about, that every John in the street can do. I don’t want to be that John because more often than not, that John only abuses a cricketer’s girlfriend for his poor performance on the field, and that is what differentiates me from that John, which is what differentiates true fans from the fake ones. 

Last week RR were playing CSK and a win would have more or less ensured them a playoff berth with a match to spare, and all the emotions I shared above were in full force because personally, I am happy with seeing my team win, but I so eagerly want to be more closely involved with them when they aren’t doing well and because I can’t do that, it gets agonizing for me, regardless of the result. I waited before sharing this post because I wanted to see if my emotions were true even if RR lost that match (which they did) and the one last night against KKR (which they won), and they (emotions) stood the test of nerves. I want to be there in the mix, knowing the effort everyone is putting in rather than watching from thousands of miles away on a TV screen, looking anxiously as the events unfold because from my experience, nobody wants to win more than the players themselves, and it is the players only who are more considerate of the outcomes, not necessarily the results. A fan, beyond a point, can’t delve much into it and that agonizes me. You saw Rahul Dravid throw his cap, I have thrown a thing or two myself at times, because it's not the result, but the outcome that hurts.

But I would choose that agonizing feeling anytime over the fickle mind of a fan, which leads me to my next and last point. In essence, a fan is a bit different from a supporter. How? It’s all about the balance between emotions and support. When the former dominates the latter, it makes you a fan. When your support keeps your emotions in check, you’re a supporter. And after the first few experiences with cricket, I have strived to be the latter.  

I have been a selfish fan, but I have learned to be a supporter. And that is the difference – the word “fan” comes with a preceding adjective, as illustrated through the three examples in the beginning, “supporter” doesn’t, because it is always meant to be unconditional. And that is why I used "supporter" in the title of this post, not "fan". More on the fan V supporter battle some other time. Someday I might delve deeper into this angst supporter concept, that time it will be Rahul Dravid, the man who matters most to me when it comes to cricket.

Until next time..

Take Care :)